Telma Abrahãois a dedicated mother, trained in Biomedicine for over 20 years, specializing in neuroscience and child development. She is recognized as the creator of Educação Neuroconsciente and also as the author of the renowned book “Pais que Evoluem”, which reached the position of best seller in Brazil, remaining for 16 weeks on the list of best sellers by Publish News. The book’s success extended beyond borders, being released in 10 countries in Portuguese and English versions.
In addition to her professional career, Telma Abrahão founded Positive Parenting Education, a parenting school located in Florida, USA, where she currently resides with her family. Through this initiative, she has helped thousands of parents around the world, offering guidance and support in raising their children.
Telma Abrahão’s vast experience, both as a professional and as a mother, together with her international certifications and the courses developed in the area of Parental Education, position her as a reliable reference in the field of raising children. Her expertise and dedication make her a respected voice in this important pillar of family life.
What is your academic background and how many years ago did you graduate in Biomedicine?
I am a biomedical specialist in Clinical Pathology, Neuroscience and Child Development. I graduated 25 years ago.
Besides being a mother, what is your role in the field of parental education?
My role is to guide parents and train professionals about the importance of childhood as a fundamental basis for having healthier adults in the world. Current science shows how childhood events profoundly impact the physical, emotional and mental health of future adults in our society.
Can you explain to us the concept of Neuroconscious Education that you developed?
Neuroconscious Education is an educational approach based on neuroscience, which explains how human relationships from the beginning of life impact our emotional and cognitive development in a profound way.
The Neuroconscious Education approach aims to avoid and minimize the damage caused by trauma resulting from various adverse childhood experiences, such as physical and emotional abuse, negligence, abandonment and dysfunctional family environments. When parents and professionals have access to this knowledge, they change their perspective on childhood and learn new, healthier ways of relating to their children.
What is emotional intelligence and how is it relevant in parenting?
Emotional intelligence is the result of the emotional education we receive or not. Past generations, including our parents and grandparents, did not have access to emotional education and, therefore, were unable to use reason to deal with emotions. For example, when they feel angry, they react with screams, curses, aggression, emotional outbursts, living motivated by instincts and reactivity. When we are educated from an early age to understand our emotions and parents learn neuroconscious education, they develop the ability to use reason to deal with emotions. This allows them to become emotionally intelligent parents, able to recognize anger, for example, and not act on it immediately. It is important to learn to understand that the anger is ours and it will pass, and then to talk to our child.
What are the key skills of emotional intelligence, in your opinion?
Key emotional intelligence skills include recognizing what we feel and why we feel it, having self-responsibility to separate what is ours from what is the other’s, developing impulse control, knowing when to expect a strong emotion, such as anger, pass before speaking or expressing yourself, developing empathy and respecting differences.
What are the benefits of developing emotional intelligence in your personal and professional life, in your experience?
The lack of emotional intelligence leads to a chaotic life, as a person dominated by emotions faces challenges in all areas, whether in the family, with himself, with friends or at work. Imagine a situation at work that results in taking out frustration on the children, involving fights and aggression with both the children and the spouse. Those who cannot deal with emotions rationally experience constant ups and downs, which not only affects their emotional health, but also increases stress, which can lead to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, and even physical illness. such as obesity and heart problems. Emotional intelligence is fundamental to a good quality of life.
How does Neuroconscious Education use knowledge about the functioning of the brain and emotions in the learning process, according to your approach?
Several neuroscience studies help us to better understand human development from birth. Today we understand how the immaturity of the brain and the environment in which we live from the beginning of life impacts our emotional and cognitive development. Understanding our biology and the development of the child’s brain helps us to deal with behavioral challenges and also helps in the development of important cognitive and emotional skills. A child educated in a neuroconscious way from an early age learns to self-regulate. For example, when she feels angry, her parents teach her that instead of attacking the other, she should breathe and wait for the anger to pass before acting. This is a daily practice, as the child does not yet have impulse control developed like an adult.
As for the learning process, we know that the human brain learns better in a safe environment than in a fearful environment. An authoritarian education, based on threats and fear, disables the rational parts of the brain related to learning. Therefore, one of the great advantages of raising children neuroconsciously is to provide a safe environment where the child feels loved and protected. This favors learning, focus and collaboration behaviors. Children raised with physical punishment and threats tend to have behavioral difficulties, lack of focus and learning difficulties at school, as the feeling of security is a crucial factor and is closely linked to the learning process from the first years of life.
How can childhood events, such as trauma by example, impact the child’s behavior and learning in the classroom?
A major problem that we currently see, especially in schools in Brazil, is that teachers are not prepared to recognize what is behind children’s behavior. Many children experience trauma, such as emotional, physical and sexual abuse, and the school often fails to recognize or notice these signs. As a result, these children are left completely alone, as the parents who are supposed to be taking care of them are the abusers. When they get to school, these children have difficulty concentrating, fight with their classmates, show aggressive behavior and may show signs of depression, such as crying, difficulty dealing with emotions and isolation.
The school needs to be prepared and qualified to help these children. However, all too often a child with problem behavior is punished or sent to management, rather than someone looking at them and trying to understand what is behind their behavior. Rather than asking why this child behaves this way, we should shift the question to what is causing this challenging behavior.
Typically, these challenging behaviors are a result of unmet physical needs, unmet emotional needs, and neurological immaturity, as the child still has an immature brain and lacks skills to deal with their emotions. Often, at home, she is educated aggressively, through slaps, and feels extremely threatened and alone. This profoundly affects not only her relationships with other children at school, but also her behavior and development.
Professionals in the area of childhood need to be prepared to recognize possible behaviors resulting from traumatic experiences. Many parents, for example, experience troubled divorces, have addictions or children may be abandoned or suffer various types of abuse. All of these children tend to exhibit challenging behaviors, which in turn can affect their academic performance, resulting in poor grades or poor development.
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