Singer-songwriter IARAH releases the single “Não Me Olhe Assim” (Don’t Look at Me Like That) on April 24th, an intense track that addresses harassment from personal experiences marked by fear, silence, and resistance. With a sound construction that evolves from introspection to emotional weight, the song emerges as a space for acceptance and reflection, questioning normalized discourses and reinforcing that no behavior or appearance justifies violence. In an interview, the artist talks about the process of transforming pain into artistic expression and the importance of giving voice to stories that are often made invisible.
“Don’t Look at Me Like That” stems from a very intimate and painful experience. At what point did you feel that transforming this experience into music was also a way to break the silence?
Since I started writing the song, I felt I was doing something that was important to me, not only for my present self, but for my younger self who suffered this harassment and didn’t even know how to deal with it. Today I still suffer a lot of harassment; I won’t say it’s stopped, but it has decreased considerably compared to the amount of harassment I suffered as a child, which is even more frightening, since back then I was just a child.
You talk about the abuse you suffered since childhood, and that gives the song an even more sensitive layer. What was it like revisiting those memories to be able to write it?
It was painful, very painful, although we never forget the harassment, what was said, and the harasser’s face; remembering it is always very difficult, in the sense that it hurts a lot.
I remember when I first heard the finished song, I broke down crying in the studio, so it was definitely very painful, but it gave me even more strength to face it and fight for those who suffer the same as I suffered.
The track starts out more restrained and then builds to gain weight and strength. How does this sonic construction relate to what you wanted to express emotionally?
The crescendo in the song, for me, represents everything I felt when I was little. The fact that it starts out more restrained mainly represents the confusion and fear I felt, while the part about weight and strength portrays more how that fear evolved into panic, and how scared I was, often afraid to go out on the street for fear that if I did, I would be harassed.
You mentioned that you had a lot to say, but you didn’t always know how to put it into words. What was the most difficult part of the songwriting process: remembering, organizing, or expressing?
Organizing was definitely the hardest part. You never forget about harassment; it will always be a ghost in my life. So, organizing everything I suffered over all these years was really the most difficult, because there were so many situations, but in absolutely all of them, what I felt most was definitely fear, and in many cases, guilt. I even reported a case of harassment I suffered at one point. Since I was a child, the advice was to report it to the child protection services, and one thing I will never forget was that the psychologist at the child protection services asked me what clothes I was wearing when I was harassed.
So, organizing all those feelings of fear, guilt, etc., was definitely the most complicated part.
Your music isn’t limited to personal accounts; it also embraces others who have gone through similar situations. When you write, do you think more about venting or about reaching out to those who will listen?
When I’m writing, I obviously think more about venting, but it’s inevitable, especially in cases like this, to think that my music can serve as a comfort to someone who has already gone through the same thing.
You made a very powerful statement about how society still tends to blame the victim. How artistically motivated are you to use your voice to confront this type of thinking?
Very much so, because as happened to me, and as happens to many victims, society tends to blame the victim, “What were you wearing?” “But also, did you see what time you left?” “But what did you say to make him think he could say that?”, so the blame is always on the victim, and never on the harasser, and that’s wrong, it’s so crazy to me that it’s still necessary to point out that the victim is NOT to blame, because that should be obvious, but unfortunately, in many cases, it isn’t.
Your influences include names like Paramore, Evanescence, and Halestorm, artists who also carry a lot of intensity and attitude. How did these references help you find the right strength to tell this story?
Honestly, it wasn’t the bands themselves that specifically helped me make this song; they are my influences because they are bands that I admire and like a lot, whether it’s the intensity of their music, the lyrics, the attitude they have on stage, the themes they address, the way they write. Things like that are definitely what made them my references.
After pouring “all your heart” into “Don’t Look at Me Like That,” what do you most hope will remain with the audience when the song ends: identification, reflection, acceptance, or courage?
I hope that reflection, acceptance, and courage will prevail. I hope that people will reflect on how little we still talk about this very important subject, which is often treated superficially and not taken seriously. I see many cases where children report harassment or rape to their mother, aunt, grandfather, etc., and they are not taken seriously, as if they were lying. Often, children are treated as if they were not human beings with their own pain, thoughts, and experiences, and this is extremely wrong. So I hope that this will prompt reflection among adults and that they will take the initiative to change, because many times the child does not fully understand what is happening. So if they speak, it’s true; there’s no reason for a child to lie about such a serious matter.
And I hope that those who have already suffered from harassment feel welcomed and supported, and that they find the courage to report whoever has done this to them. What happened to me when I reported it wasn’t right, but it was necessary, because often someone who harasses one person harasses more than one. So report it, and be strong, even when it’s difficult. We have to be strong for each other and continue fighting for the causes that truly matter.
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