In “Every Time I Fall in Love”, writer Lari Volf presents the story of Ágata Mendonça, a young woman marked by a generational curse that prevents her from believing in true love. With a plot that mixes humor, family dilemmas and questions about destiny and free will, Volf invites readers to delve deeper into Ágata’s choices, her emotional scars and her search for a love that defies the expectations and fears that surround her. The novel, inspired by poets such as Rupi Kaur and authors such as John Green, offer a reflection on new beginnings and the universal feeling of love, in addition to dealing with themes such as non-monogamy, abandonment and social pressure in the search for happiness.
There are pains that seem to span generations, and love sometimes carries more scars than promises. What was it like for you to give voice to a character like Ágata, who believes she lives under an emotional curse? Was there a moment when you felt especially connected to her pain?
Giving Ágata a voice was a challenging but satisfying process. It was a layer upon layer of existential doubts and a search for meaning that made her sink deeper and deeper into her beliefs. Ágata doesn’t harm others, she harms herself, and that’s not so easy for her to realize. Near the end of the book, there’s a scene that talks more specifically about destiny, and it’s one of the most beautiful and also most reflective scenes, in which Ágata reflects on the weight of choices and also on the weight of not choosing. In this scene, she talks about a kind of butterfly effect that’s present in all of our lives, and about how a few seconds can direct us to a completely different path. This was definitely the moment when I saw her most human, because we all have equally important “what ifs” running through our minds.
The “ Lost Pub” is more than just a setting: it becomes a space for listening, advice and revelations. Did you draw inspiration from any real or symbolic place to create this setting that is so significant in the story?
The creation of “ Lost Pub” was a consequence of the construction of the character Nelson. Ágata needed to be heard, but she couldn’t talk to anyone she knew, nor could she look for someone in an environment she had been to before. It wasn’t a choice to go to “ Lost Pub”; she was simply in such a state of mental exhaustion that she went in there without thinking much — and that was what saved her. Nelson Davi Folle was inspired by two psychologists I had during my pre-adolescence: Davi André Martins Claro, who passed away in 2015, and Nelson Conrado, who passed away in 2014. One of the most meaningful conversations I had with Nelson was when I used a ready-made phrase that said “If you have a 1% chance, have 99% faith”, and he responded with “You have a 99% chance, and you have 99% faith”. Building a character in the book inspired by these two important people who passed through my life was the way I found to honor all the help I received.
Between chapters and exchanged messages, the narrative takes on a real-life rhythm — as if we were reading the diary of someone we love. What was the process of creating such an intimate and fluid story like, and why did you choose the first-person point of view?
Every Time I Fall in Love began as a diary, and I changed the narrative structure over time. Writing in the first person was necessary so that the reader would know what was going on in Ágata’s head, but also — and mainly — so that she wouldn’t know what was going on in the boys’ heads. I wanted Ágata’s doubts to be the reader’s doubts and that, in this process of searching for answers, the reader could, together with the protagonist, question their beliefs and discover important things about themselves and others.
Rupi Kaur and John Green are names that, like you, speak of intense, fragile and transformative loves. How did these references influence the soul of the book? Is there a scene that, when writing, you felt translated this inspiration in a special way?
Rupi ‘s books Kaur and John Green shaped me as a person, and the writer within me, with this inspiration already rooted in my chest, simply let one letter follow the other and the process happen almost unconsciously. But speaking of John Green and, especially, of “Looking for Alaska?”, this is my favorite protagonist in life, and the two could easily be sisters — if it weren’t for Agatha’s paternal issue and Alaska’s maternal issue. Both carry the desire to change the world along with the will to give up at the first problem. I see in Agatha and Alaska the same courage and the same admirable quality: moving forward, even with a broken heart. But even impetus needs to be cautious.
Every Time I Fall in Love is also about starting over — not just in love, but in family relationships and life choices. What did you learn about starting over while writing this novel?
There is always time to start over. I will talk about the butterfly effect again, and I will say more: even when we believe that everything is over, that there is no more chance or that we have already wasted too much time, we can always rethink and make other choices. Decisions that we make in a matter of seconds can change the entire course of our destiny and take us to places we never imagined possible. Relationships can be restored, old loves can be rediscovered, families can be reconstituted. It is never too late to try again — but we need to decide what we really want and walk in search of what makes us happy.
Non-monogamy and “fate versus free will” are delicate topics, but they are dealt with naturally throughout the book. How did you include these reflections in the plot without losing the light and dynamic tone of the narrative?
“Non-monogamy” is the label we give to emotional involvement with more than one person, but we rarely give the label “monogamous” to a couple. Far from wanting to impose a certain view on another, the book merely raises these questions for us to reflect on. Ágata does not define herself as “non-monogamous,” she simply loves more than one person at the same time and with all she can. In the world we live in, with so much hatred and resentment, loving someone should be seen as an act of courage. In the same way, questioning our beliefs should also be something natural, since, if there were no doubt, there would be no point in having faith.
You’ve created a protagonist who lives between fear and hope, and many young readers will see themselves in her. How do you handle the responsibility of touching on such emotional and real issues for readers?
I understand that the main message of Every Time I Fall in Love is love — and that the world needs love very much. All the questions that Ágata faces in the book regarding her beliefs, her family and her conflicting feelings, always have the goal of making her and the reader question themselves. There are no ready answers, just questions so that we can reflect and become better people, more empathetic and aware of our choices. And, at the end of all this, that we can love more — both the people around us and ourselves.
In addition to books, your work as an educator and cultural agent shows a commitment to literature that goes beyond the paper. How does your experience with the public and local culture influence your writing and the themes you choose to address?
I believe that my writing influences my actions in the local context, more than the opposite. I was born in an environment surrounded by stories, books, movies, series and music, where all my choices converged towards the same feeling: love. I write about love, and that is what I try to convey in my cultural actions: self-love , romantic love, family love, love between friends, love for animals, love for life and nature. A pure, altruistic, generous feeling that wants the best for everyone and seeks to make the world a better place to live. I carry love, and love always comes back to me.
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